Something To Live For
by HoloGhost
Summary: Arthur wants to end his life. He had nothing else to live for. He was alone. But before he could commit suicide, a little boy appears and changes Arthur's life.  AU. warning: character death


Hello! Um, so this is my first completed Hetalia fanfic. I hope I did decent job.

A little warning before we move on: **character death**.

Please enjoy!(as much as you can enjoy it)

Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya

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><p>What's the point of living?<p>

You're born. Go through life's shit. Then you die.

Sleep. Eat. Walk around like a zombie. That's all I do these days.

I used to have a life. A happy one. Until the incident two years ago.

I was crushed. Half dead. But it didn't end there. Three months after that, mum killed herself.

I am alone. I have nothing to live for. So why am I still here?

Well, I plan to fix that problem today.

There are no tourists in the Grand Canyon skywalk. Which is unusual, but good. There would be less complications that way.

I picked myself up from the bench and made my way to the skywalk.

I've seen this moment inside my head for hundreds of times. I go to the skywalk, check if anybody's there, sit on the rails, then fall to my death.

I imagined it would be painful and gruesome. But this is where I want it to end.

I got to the rails. I had a leg over it. I was about to sit, but something pulled at my jacket.

I looked back. No one. I looked down. There was a kid.

'That's dangerous', he said. I frowned at him. 'I know.' I answered. He didn't let go.

I told him to go to his mum. He didn't answer.

I ask if he is lost. He just shrug. What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?

I want him to go away. But I can't exactly say 'Sod off so I can kill myself'

He just stared at me with huge blue eyes. They look familiar, somehow.

I swing my leg back. The boy got hold of the chain in my pants. It seems like I'm stuck with him until I find his parents.

'What's your name?' I ask. He said, 'I'm hungry'. Fine. I give up asking questions.

I went back inside, the kid beside me. We entered a small fast food restaurant. I looked down to the kid to ask what he wants to eat. He stood on his toes, trying to see the menu.

I pick him up and move closer to the counter. The guy behind it raised an eyebrow. It's because of my torn outfit and wildly coloured hair, I'm sure. I raised mine too, daring him to say something. He didn't.

'Burger' said the kid suddenly. 'What else?' I ask. He fingered my ear piercing then said, 'coke'.

Luckily, I had a fifty in my pocket. I paid for the food then took a seat.

'Wow! I forgot what it tastes like!' The kid exclaimed. He looks like he's high. At least he's happy.

He's got big bites for a six year old kid. I'm not sure if that is his age. But he surely looks it.

Two minutes. That's long it took for him to finish the whole thing.

He was sipping his drink when I jokingly asked if he's mother feeds him at all. He acted like he didn't hear a thing. But I know he did. He's eyes looks sad after I asked him that.

'What's your name?' the kid asks. I rest my chin on my palm. 'Arthur'

The kid smiled. It was big and…warm. 'That's my brother's name' he said and laughed.

'Oh yeah? Are you here with your brother?' I ask. But like my previous questions, he didn't answer it. He pressed his face against the glass divider and stared at a girl with balloons.

'Can I have balloons?' he asks. I shrug. 'Whatever you want, kid.'

He jumps from his chair and runs off.

He's at the balloon stall when I got to him. 'Hey, Arthur! I got you one!' he hands me a green balloon. 'It's like your eyes!'

I didn't mention that I'm the one buying the balloons, that he really didn't give me anything. But, I guess it's the thought that counts.

'That's sweet of you. And yours looks like your eyes'

He laughs and says, 'It does, doesn't it!'

He laughs and hums and twirls around as I pay for the balloons. He seems to be enjoying himself. Even if he got separated from his brother. He must be a strong kid to able to do that. Stronger than I am.

We went around the tiny shops inside the building. The kid held my hand all the way. His hand was small, soft and warm. I feel like I've touched his hands before.

When we entered shops, he would run ahead of me. Sometimes hopping and twirling. He never stopped smiling. He also giggles. I often laugh with him. I didn't mean to. I just get carried away by him.

He's my exact opposite. I'm dead inside, miserable and pathetic. But this kid. He's happy and carefree. He's full of life!

Without thinking about it, I picked him and sat him on my shoulders.

'Whoa! This is cool!' He reached out to get a stuffed toy from the high shelves. He lowered it to my face and bumped it against my nose.

'What was that all about?'

'It's a kiss!' He answered and giggled like a madman.

I chuckled.

When my shoulders were aching, I sat down on the bench where I sat hours ago, planning my death. I almost forgot about that. I guess it's because I am having so much fun with this kid. He's like a reminder of how beautiful life could be.

I looked at him. He was sitting beside me, watching his balloon bob in the air.

I wondered when the kid goes home with his brother, will he still be thinking about the fun time we had? Did he enjoy hanging out with me as much as I did hanging out with him? Will we meet again someday? And if we do, will he still remember me? For some reason, my eyes stung.

'Hey, Arthur?'

'Yeah?'

'I'm sleepy'

I smiled. I let him use my lap as a pillow. He pulled at the threads on the ripped holes in my pants. Meanwhile I stroked his golden hair.

'Do you want me to sing to you?'

He giggled. 'You can't sing'

That hurt a bit. Mostly because it's true. 'Oh yeah? What makes you say so?'

'I just know'

He sat up, smiled and placed a kiss on my cheek.

'Thanks for today, Arty. I'm happy to be with you' he said. Then he laid back down and slept.

Did he just call me 'Arty'? No one called me 'Arty' except…

My throat burned and my eyes stung. Fucking hell. There's no way I'm gonna cry! I mean, why would I?

I leaned my head back and closed my eyes.

I must've fallen asleep.

My eyes felt heavy.

I stood up and stretched. How long was I out? I wonder if the kid is still asleep.

Wait a sec.

Where's the kid?

I looked around. Only tourists. No kid.

On the bench, only a green balloon was tied to it.

Did his brother pick him up already? Without saying goodbye? No way.

I went back to the fast-food restaurant. Maybe the kid got hungry again.

I stepped inside and looked around. No kid.

'Hey, have you seen the kid I was with earlier?' I asked the same middle-aged guy behind the counter.

'Lost him, huh? Just what is expected from people like you'

I grabbed his collar and jerked him towards me. 'Have you seen him? Or not?'

He shook his head rapidly. I was out the door before he could say anything else.

I ran to the toy store next. Then to every store we went to. I asked the same question. They had the same answer.

They offered to call security to help me look for the kid. I nodded my thanks then continued my search.

Fucking hell! Where could he go?

I asked some tourist if they had seen a seven-year-old kid with blond hair and sky blue eyes.

Not one of them saw him.

Are they fucking blind? How could they not see him? He was loud and all over the place!

Fuck. What if got kidnapped or something? Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. This is all my fault. It's cause I bloody fell asleep!

Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Panicking is pointless. Okay, Arthur, think. Where haven't you checked yet?

I dashed to the sky-walk.

This feels like it happened before.

Me, running, shirt stinking to my back with sweat. Feeling beyond nervous. There's that hole in my stomach when something bad happens.

Like that time, two years ago.

Oh, God, please no. Not again! I went through this before. And it destroyed me.

What will happen to me if I go through this for the second time?

I ran past the trickle of people, not bothering to apologize.

There was no one on the sky walk.

The horrible image of my little brother, dangling over the rails, eyes wide open as his fingers slept through mine, popped inside my head.

Please, not this kid too.

I ran to the bend of the walkway and leaned over. Of course, I saw nothing thousands of meters below. But there was something floating upwards.

A blue balloon.

Oh, God!

I grabbed at the balloon as soon as I could reach it. There was something scrawled on it.

I took the balloon in my hands.

'Dear Arty, please don't kill yourself. I won't be happy if you did that. Mom won't be either. Try to enjoy life! We had so much fun today, right? The burger was yummy! I wish I could be with you forever. But that can wait. Arty, remember when you promised you and I would travel around the world? Why don't you do that? We have saved enough money for it, right? Please go. It'll make you happy! You always told me that was your dream! Well, you won't see me with you, but wherever you are, I'll be there. So it's like travelling with me, innit? Arty, please keep on fighting. If not for yourself, then do it for me. I love you, big brother! -Alfred'

Oh, God! Was that his ghost? Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God! Is this for real? Or am I going mental?

Oh, God!

But those eyes! They were so much like Al's. And the feeling of his hand! So it was him all along! It was Alfred!

Alfred! Only two years older!

My, God. If he had lived…

I cried. I laughed. I wasn't sure which one. Maybe both.

All I knew was, until the security found me, I was on the ground, hugging the blue balloon like it was the most important thing in my life. Which it was. It was from Alfred. It's the most precious thing I have.

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><p>The graveyard was silent. The only thing heard was the light wind blowing against the trees. A girl with long blond hair and bright green eyes stood in front of a freshly dug earth. On her hand was a wrinkly old blue balloon and a picture of the Grand Canyon- the only photograph to be buried with grandpa. The other hundred photos grandpa took during his two-year world tour were framed and hung on every wall in their house.<p>

There were plenty of picture of castles covered in ice, lush green mountains and clear blue seas. But grandpa's favourites, as well as Alice's, were those photos of him drinking with a lot of interesting people- a blond man with striking blue eyes, a purple-eyed albino, a sour looking man, and a finely dressed aristocrat. They all had mugs raised and looked- excuse the language- shitfaced. It was clear that they were having a very good time. There was also a huge photograph of a tomato ranch. Two men stood under the sun, each holding a basket of tomatoes. The smaller man had a surly pout on his face. The taller man, on the other hand, had a stupid grin on his face as he waved at the camera. And then, there was a portrait of grandma, posing as the Statue of Liberty, smiling widely. The statue itself stood behind her.

Remembering those photos, Alice realized that grandpa had made many good friends during his travel. In fact, some of those friends were at the funeral. Grandpa's best friend, Francis Bonnefoy- an old classy Frenchman with perfert hair-stood silently to Alice's right, his blue eyes dripping with tears, while Mathias Kohler, grandpa's Danish drinking partner, tried to hold back his.

'Alice? Matthew?' She heard her mother's voice behind her.

Alice shared a look with Mr. Bonnefoy's son.

Alice and Matthew were supposed to place the objects in their hands on top of grandpa's casket- the balloon and picture in Alice's and a bundle of letters from Europe in Matthew's. Alice stared at the letters as Matthew lowered it, a smile slowly creeping on her face. She thought about how happy grandpa would be. He always loved receiving letters from his friends. 'They're really worth living for' he had always said.

It was Alice's turn. She looked at uncle Alfred's balloon one last time. She had finally managed to read the faded note written on the blue rubber. She now understood why it was so important to grandpa. She might not have understood every word that uncle Al had written, but she knew something magical had happened.

'You had a good life, grandpa' Alice whispered, then turned her eyes to uncle Al's tomb. 'But I bet you're in your happiest now. Say hi to uncle Al for me.'

Alice kissed two fingers and touched it on the casket. Tears streaming down her cheeks.

The wind blew, and Alice closed her eyes. The wind's touch felt warm and tender. Very much like grandpa's.


End file.
